It happens every January: we make New Year’s resolutions. Lose weight, stop smoking, get in shape, etc. We aim to break our bad habits. And what always happens? Two weeks into the month, our resolutions seem to fade away. Why is that? The goals are admirable, but we just can’t seem to change our behavior for the long term.
Are we doomed to helplessly endure these obnoxious behaviors forever? Not necessarily. Psychologists have studied how people successfully break long-standing, unwanted behaviors. Here are ten tips and tricks for getting rid of those bad habits.
The crucial first step in the process of change is self-awareness. This requires a courageous probe of your motives driving the behavior. When did the habit start? When do you express the behavior? What environmental conditions are present when the behavior is happening? What are the downsides of quitting? Answering these and other similar questions can help you understand why you have the habit. If the habit is seriously affecting the quality of your life and you feel clueless about why it's happening, a skilled mental health professional can help you dig into your issues and propose ways to make changes effectively.
When you're making a significant change in your life, you might be tempted to crush all your bad habits at once. While this idea sounds great on paper, it often falls short in practice because we try to change too many things at once. Instead, make a list of the things you’d like to change and choose one of the less complex options. By starting on a less critical issue, you have a better chance of succeeding, which will in turn bolster your confidence for taking on more challenging behaviors.
As explained above, the loss of one bad habit might cause you to fall back on something else to fill the void. The best way to handle this is to replace your lost needs by engaging in a positive, alternative activity. For example, smokers sometimes switch over to lollipops, hard candies, or even nicotine alternatives for the sensation of having something in their hands and mouth. Consider your habit, prepare a healthier or better alternative, and have it prepared beforehand to minimize the risk of relapses.
Sometimes our bad habits are embarrassing to admit, and we want to keep them private. Yet, trying to make changes without help can be a challenging task. A better way to achieve your goals is to find support. Surround yourself with people who want you to achieve your goals. They will keep you accountable, and the social pressure will stop you from giving up easily. By the way, they won't think you’re weird because of your habit. People who care about you will be more apt to be impressed with your commitment to positive change.
Try to steer clear of people, places, and things that "trigger" your negative habits. One helpful way to approach this is by using the acronym HALT. This translates to “Hungry, Angry (or Anxious), Lonely, or Tired.” When you feel any of these feelings, you are more likely to express the bad habit. Upon sensing the onset of bad behavior, ask yourself if any of the HALT feelings are present. If so, take steps to alleviate that specific emotional pain positively.
Bad habits thrive in the dark. If we leave them unexamined, they tend to roll forward unhindered. A great way to shed light on negative behavior is to keep a journal. Not only is it fun and creative, but it's also a valuable tool in your journey to improve. It helps you understand the dimensions of the habit and also allows you to record your progress toward expressing more positive behaviors.
Stay motivated by practicing daily affirmations. Many apps and websites offer unique affirmations for those seeking positive motivation. Maintaining a happy and confident mindset is crucial to overcoming bad habits.
For some, simply beating a bad habit is compensation enough. For most of us, however, a reward for good behavior serves as a valuable motivator. The reward can be just about anything that motivates us. However, make sure the type of reward does not counteract the progress you’ve made. For example, if you're trying to improve your nutrition, rewarding yourself with a giant slice of cake is probably counterproductive.
Humans aren't perfect, and we make mistakes. That's fine! Too many people slip up, beat themselves up for it, and then give up on their self-improvement goals. If you ever slip up in the journey to kick a habit, don't get down on yourself for it. Just get back up and continue down the path. Growth isn't always linear!
Some habits can be extinguished if the behavioral stimulus is removed. For example, for people who chew their nails, weekly nail trimming or, if you can afford it, a manicure can remove the stimulus for the habit. Another example is playing with your hair. You can redirect the behavior to a “fidget” object to occupy your hands, such as brushing your hair instead of playing with it, wearing a hat or bandana, or pulling your hair back into a bun or ponytail.
Breaking a habit doesn’t happen overnight, and it rarely goes exactly as planned. What helps most is staying open, trying different approaches, and not giving up when something doesn’t stick right away. It takes some trial and error, and maybe a little patience with yourself. The ideas above aren’t magic fixes, but they can give you a solid place to start. Keep at it—you’ll get there.
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